I am as excited as any other Malaysians, really...but wait, it may not be as safe as it seems to be according to this BMW 5 Series contractor.

So guys, try to be careful on the road ya.

Ok, I did not top up just to heed their call, but to perform dollar-cost averaging to buy in more units at dirt cheap price. Reason? The funds are near to announce dividend distribution:)

So I was pleased when I found out today that my portfolio has twisted its fate from suffering a total of 35% loss to the current 1.74% profit. Power of DC averaging! By the time I received the distribution (which is normally more than 8%), with the growth anticipated, my portfolio would be hitting a healthy 20% in ROI.

This also meant that since the downturn in Jan'08 till now, the growth of the funds are approximately 20% - 30%. So if you have chip in then, congratulations to you! Nonetheless, this is just the start, to me the buying signal is still strong, especially in the long run:) Lookout for PRSEC and the others here. At least for me, I will go for PRSEC next.

Ok, I am also hunting for reliable agents in Penang, KL and JB. If you are interested, please feel free to drop me a mail at gnustiy@yahoo.com.

In the coming entry, I will explicitly talk about how to select a good fund. Stay tune!

Starting from February 1, 2008, the minimum saving of RM50,000 which applies to all has been changed with respect to the table below - each age level would have its own minimum savings limit in their Account 1.

This is a positive change knowing that not many people are able to accumulate RM50,000 at an early stage in their EPF account. With this, the younger generations are able to invest earlier and reap the effect of compounded ROI. Based on the table above, you can use the following formula to calculate how much you can invest your KWSP money into a privately managed fund. 

For example, a 25 year-old with savings up to RM20,000 in Account I would be able to invest a maximum of:

(RM20,000 - RM9,000) x 20% = RM11,000 x 20%

                                        = RM2,200

But still, withdrawal can only be done once every 3 months and the minimum withdrawal remains at RM1,000.

For more info, please visit the KWSP website.

Kluang, although many may not have heard of this place, is definitely not an “ulu kampong” area nor a remote slow-moving “pekan” where you need to travel km after km of winding road snaking through the oil palm estate before reaching. It is a TOWN, alias BANDARAYA, for god’s sake. No wonder after applying Streamyx for 2 months, not a soul has turned up with the modem till my father went back to question them. 

TM Customer Service: Encik ada apa hal?

Dad: Sudah 2 bulan, tapi tak ada orang datang pasang apa-apa pun, kenapa?

TM CS: Tunggu sekejap ye, biar saya “check”. After  2 minutes. 

TM CS: Encik, you punya tempat tak ada port, tak boleh pasang lah.

Dad: Takda port, kenapa you punya agen minta saya sain kontrak?

TM CS: Siapa suruh encik apply?

Dad: … 

WTF? How could the customer service agent treat customer like that? And, obviously, there is a huge miscommunication within this communication giant (only in Malaysia).

So again, the way I see it, the karma runs in circle:

Less applicants à wait till there is sufficient demand before adding ports à customer wait and get frustrated à customer withdraw applications à demand quota remains low à No port à No customer à No business à Company bankrupt…. 

CEO of TMNET(and yes, I couldn't get your name because the TMNET website took like hours to load through my 56K modem.), is this how your corporation is running business? Actually, I wouldn’t be surprise as you have predecessors like PROTON and MAS. I am just chagrin that you didn’t learn a nickel from them. *shake my head and sigh.

If so, I have a prophecy for you from Zion: TMNET is going to go down real soon, like the 013 service which was beaten terribly out of business a decade ago, once the other telcos offer broadband service with a competitive price (like the wireless broadband launched by TM's sister company - Celcom). And by the way in this era where everybody owns a cellphone, who needs a line? 1Mbps vs 6Mbps…pft

Is that air that you are breathing?

I am going for Broadband 1800...:p 

After those late nights without watching America's Next Top Model, Heroes...

Those early mornings where I will jog to school 7am, bath and reach the lab god damn early at 8.30am.

After 24/7 sitting front of the bloody PC for weeks, tweaking the variables till I nearly get RSI after Bells Palsy...

The moment I confirmed that the model was wrong, I was like:

ps:cmos, thanks for the pic. It somehow resonate with my feeling now. kena stun + bash + watever ultimate.

Despite the negative sentiments, if you have some moolah to spare which you are able to put aside for long term, you can now chip into some funds which are being offered at a reasonably low (discounted) price.

Some of my favourites:

1. PDSF: Promising annual dividend.

2. PRSEC: Aggressive return in terms of capital gain, earned 37% from this fund within a year. Give out good dividend as well. Next on my list to top up.

3. PFEDF: Slow and steady in uptrend market. If managed well, I would have attain 30% just by switching fund. Last year's dividend is 8% - 15%. I am still buying in.

4. PCSF: If the bull starts charging, you will not be able to catch this fella. So, chip in now when the price is really low. I am still buying in.

Of course, if you have one lump sum to spare. Do not invest all at once, because you do not know when the market will hit the global minima. Thus you do not know if you will get a cheaper bargain the very next day. So, invest in batches, exercise strategic pricing, wisely. The same thing if you are diving directly into the stock market nowadays.

Adios, amigos! 

ps: For my dear clients, I will help to support the portfolio monitoring spread sheet FOC :)

My sup ask if I want to participate in a conference in Salt Lake City in May. So soon? I was barely 3 months old here, dude.

So here I am, applying my idea in my experiment. Crossing my fingers, hoping for the best. Hopefully, I have some salient outcomes for my paper and I am able to make it before the deadline.

Adios amigos!

The CEO of Semi-Value Inc is officially going to retreat to his ranch in Australia...10.05pm. Happy 72nd Birthday:)

Awaiting for his fate as well...10.20pm. Little Ong is quite lucky this time...10.39pm

Nurul Izzah Anwar won against Shahriezat...10.26pm. (WTF, 14 uncounted ballot boxes emerged out of nowhere. (12.00am) 

What about the AP Queen? She is lucky too.

UNOFFICIALLY, Koh Tsu Koon is out as of 8.27pm. Confirmed 11.34pm.

UNOFFICIALLY, Skudai has fallen to DAP, Dr Boo. 11.26pm. Confirmed 11.34pm.

A BIG BREACH IN BN's STRONGHOLD in JOHOR.

I am glad I participated in the GE this round, and make a difference.

~~*~~

Stay cool, stay calm, stay home. Young bloods, don't let this go to waste. Let no one has the reason to declare emergency. Peace.

And I captured this speech from the IGP on the electronic media:

Minutes later the same channel reported 2 cases of phantom voters exposed by the public...

It's like the IGP is telling the whole universe:

To my ears...it's merely like:

My dear BLACKie...I hope you would heed my advice:

• Representatives that we do not recognize or know of his/her existence pop up like mushrooms after the rain, like the corridors launched by Pak Lah. *lol.

Do you know Chua Tee Yong? The son of the ex-Health Minister who demonstrated his super karmasutra skills in front of the entire nation. I wouldn't know this fella if not for his folly dad.

• Out of nowhere, the multi-talented to-be leaders will be walking along with normal Bolehland commoners, shaking hands, hugging, and patting people's shoulders in wet markets, pasar malams, hawker centers...etc.

• Some of them would even show off their hidden talents in making teh tarik, roti canai and frying char koay teow.

Khir selling mee after the Broomy award.

• Vulgar and lewd jokes came to a halt. To reminisce a few darndest quotes by our politicians: Batu Gajah setiap bulan pun BOCOR! Boleh nampak TEROWONG.

• Mat rempits helping out with the campaigns.

• Voters name missing from the system after participating in the GE for nth times. *Sigh.

• Sudden change of polling points. *Baffled.

Poor Mr Goh (69-year-old) has to travel all the way to Penang alone to vote despite the fact that he has been voting in Negeri Sembilan for all his life.

~~*~~

Despite the fast and smooth polling process this morning, I was wondering why the EC needs to station 6 buggers in a polling station (not to mention several polices guarding outside.)

One guy will check the IC and read the voters name aloud, the ticket ripper will tear the voting tickets and the person beside will help to fold the tickets (like we don't know how lar.) Then, there is this young pretty lady sitting in the middle staring blankly at the transparent poll boxes while the ketua behind is ogling her. 

The Bolehland authorities really know how to generate job opportunities for the some Bolehlanders...Like the toll booths on the highway which supposingly should be eliminated for smooth traffic flow long long time ago (maybe even before Singapore has its ERP gantries) are still standing in the way JUST to cater job vacancies...(Don't even want to mention Touch n Go or SmartTAG.)

In the end, the progress of Bolehland's development is just like the traffic condition on the highway: jalan kejap, henti kejap, jalan, henti, jalan, bang! henti, bang...so on so forth. So sad.

Going back on eve noon, should be able to reach home in time for the reunion dinner. Then on the 2nd night of CNY, will be on a flight to Penang, then head straight to Parit Buntar. And on the 4th day, will be taking the night bus straight down south...Hopefully, the bus driver is not one who's loaded with multiple summonses and deprived of sleep...*omitho hoot.

I think the government should stop undermining the Malays and by all means abolish the NEP. I don't think the Malays are any weaker or inferior than any other race. In fact, I have Malay friends who'd strived and become very successful in their lives, with their own effort. So, please don't poison their minds anymore, don't let them think that they need the "special" aid in order to survive or be successful in Malaysia.

On recent Selangor state agencies public ticking off by Khir Toyo:

Bravo, Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Dr Mohamad Khir Toyo! Although many would view it as a demeaning act, but I think it is time to wake the slumberers. Sometimes, you just need to kick some arse. Government body, time to pull up your socks!

On our Prime Ministers:

Tunku Abdul Rahman - Father Of Independence

Tun Abdul Razak - Father of Development

Tun Hussein Onn - Father of Unity

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad - Father of Modernization

Abdullah Badawi - Father of Corridors???

With all the corridors North-East-South-West all over Bolehland springing up like mushrooms after the rain like nobody's business. *Salute!

Sad.

“I admit we are not world-class but we are working hard to improve ourselves.” UM Vice Chansellor, Datuk Rafiah Salim.

What? After 58 years, we are still not a world-class uni? Malaysia Boleh? Boleh...lah.

Depress. 

The UM VC was frustrated due to the changes in part of the methodology in the survey which weighted on peer reviewers (40%) and citations per faculty (20%).

Think, should the world measure us using our own rulers? Think again, how could we be so vulnerable and was disqualified so easily once the game plan was changed? Talking about globalization...  

She added that Malaysian universities are receiving insufficient funding as compared to world-class universities.

“If we hope to achieve world-class status, we also need to look at how much investment goes into world-class universities,” she said, comparing the National University of Singapore’s annual operating budget of S$1.2bil (RM2.8bil) with UM’s RM400mil. 

Why is so little money being channelled to Malaysian universities? Erm, ask Hishammuddin or the PM. But, maybe I have the answer here and here.

UKM insisted that the standard of the local universities hasn't change eventhough they are out of the chart.

Of course, I agree to this. The standard is the same, just that some other people around the globe gets better and better...we are still the same after 50 years...still the same. And I think that is why, some ulu university in Africa can also beat us like nobody's business.

Shouldn't we also question the transparency of student admission and the hiring of lecturers or the "kulit-fication" quota which contribute to the lack of academic rigour?

Yes, laugh all you want and send more bangla to space.

I can't stop to think that the recent price rise in almost everything, from petrol to toll, raw sugar to flour, has nothing to do with the making of our very first Angkasawan. Damn, the price hike has become a cyclical thing.

In case you don't know, the first Malaysian spaceman was actually sponsored by all citizens of Bolehland thru a US$900 million (RM3.4 billion) contract for 18 Sukhoi aircrafts with the Russians. Actually with the population of 24,821,286 Bolehans, each of us only forked out RM136.97 to send some part time model up to outer space to repeat some world-breaking experiments already conducted by some Kingston University's researchers back in 2005. By the way, I managed to google and learnt about microgravity and space radiation on cancer cells (which was the mission of our Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor) which cost me only...erm RM77 the most?  

Why do we need to get these fighter jets?

Well, other than defence purposes, the fighter jets would be used to safeguard our oil resources just in case somebody named Bush suddenly diverts his attention from the Middle East and decided to siphon our precious petroleum. And, because we are rich. Ooooh, I see.

Why do we send someone up there to repeat other people's experiment?

I think maybe he (Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor) don't know how to google gua...And also, because we are rich. Ooooh, liddat ar.

Why can't we use the money to conduct our own research in astronomy and expand our technology to build our own spacecraft like what China did? In this way we are able to produce our own Angkasawans.

Erm...because we are rich but not that rich? Oooooh, han zi!

So after the Angkasawan returned safely, what significant results or breakthrough has he brought back to Bolehland thru the top spinning experiments? 

Erm, so far...nothing, if I did not miss anything from the papers. Can anyone tell me? But, he did prove that we are rich mah. Ooooooh...

So it make sense since all of us are so damn rich, we shouldn't whine for a mere 20% increase in milk powder, right? Breast feed if you can't afford lor...

I have seen emails flying around stating that there will be a RM0.70 hike in petrol next year and 10% increment in toll rate. I truly believe this will happen, because we are sending the second space tourist space man to space don't know for what for some very important tasks, probably to polish Yury Malenchenko's teeth. Stay tune!

Say one serene morning when you are driving your little Kancil along a double-lane road, on the right lane. And this red car on the left lane in front of you cut into your lane. How would you react?

We always start with a bleak morning...and it's always drizzling...

Erm, the Nine Majesty Deity belum tiba heaven kot.

Anyway, some virus outburst is raking havoc in the place I cari makan and the effect is bound to be dire.

Bird flu, they say...I wonder how Ikan caught it.

Ok, though I am not a porridge aficionado. But this is really one of the best way to start your day, especially if you are ill. *Koff koff

I would like to propose a toast, to Ikan: Speedy recovery! And hope this fiasco will die off immaturely!

Here you go, the pork porridge + yao cha guai...

The best and only in Kluang! 

Okay, the good news is, Kluang Railcoffee has established a new branch opposite the one and only Kluang Parade. It has it's own catchword as well: It's a local Motion.

Apparently, the shop owner spend quite a bomb on the decoration to preserve the quaint appearance of the old railway station which reeks of pre-war history and charm.

But one glance at the interior, you would notice the resemblance of Old Town Kopitiam embedded in the ambience. I foresee a multi-million franchise chain in the rising.    

Despite the larger space which accomodates more tables and chairs, it's still as pack than ever like the original coffee shop in the morning and we have to wait for ~10 minutes for a seat. *Gasp

Anytime after 9am, the infamous nasi lemak would be automatically off the menu. As the adage goes, early bird catches the worm mah. After we pounced on the coveted seats, I signalled the waiter to clean up our table and take down our orders and then I took a second gasp when I saw the menu. Wah, the food and beverages are also as pricey as Old Town Kopitiam!

RM 3.00 for lemon juice! Our dear Abdullah Badawi, PM cum Finance Minister, the inflation rate damn jialat leh! Unlike the 3.0% rate as declared by Zeti leh! (Nowadays there is a notion whereby if there's any hike in price in almost anything, people tends to screw the government.) It's a Rail Tradition:)

Do beh chia mea? As usual, we ordered coffee + steam kaya bun + half-boiled eggs. The aroma of the coffee is still the same, so is the steam bun, rich with margerine and kaya.

What a fulfilling way to start the day!

Every morning when I flipped through the newspaper, I am greeted with all sorts of blood-puking tidings in our beloved Bolehland...

To name one of them:

VK Lingam's Video Clip  

A video clip released by Former Deputy Prime Minister, Anwar Ibrahim on Sept 19, 2007 rocked the Judiciary and the Putrajaya Administration. The 8-minute video clip, taken secretly in 2002, showed Senior Lawyer VK Lingam in conversation with (whom believed to be) Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim, where Lingam allegedly conspired the potential appointment of Ahmad Fairuz as the Chief Judge of Malaya (CJM) and his promotion as the Chief Justice (CJ).

You can read the transcript of the conversation here. Note that names were mentioned. So, easily, there is someone/something to start with in the probe of this scandal, right? No! No! No! In Bolehland, we do it "one step at a time", there is a process to follow.

“It’d be unfortunate if the mechanism (panel) set up is not used by the people." said Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz, minister in the Prime Minister’s Department.

Meaning if conventionally the procedure is from A to B to C and then to D, there is no way you can jump from A to D even if there is a way! So, don't be a snobbish smart alec. So what is A, the wise one?

The government's reaction really amused me. Instead of commencing the investigation towards the parties involved, a three-man panel is called upon since Sept 27 to investigate the authenticity of the video tape as the copy presented by PKR (Parti Keadilan Rakyat) de facto leader has been edited. To accomplish this simple task, the whistleblower would need to step forward with the original copy of the clip.

What the toot, if you get shot by an arrow, would you attend to your wound first or ask where the arrow is coming from? In Bolehland, we will first examine if the arrow is made of carbon fibre or oakwood or alloy. Then, check if the fletching is made from chicken or goose feather or solid plastic vanes. Oh, sorry, you got shot? Screw you! I can't apply first aid on you yet, still need to find out what kind of bow has been used to fire this dart...erm long bow? short bow? compound bow? cross bow? elbow?  

“I really hope people will come forward. Then we can have a look at the judiciary. Otherwise, we may conclude there is no case,” commented Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz.

Apparently, the edited video footage is not solid enough to build a case. So now, without A, there is no D liao.   

Suddenly I think of this pathetic guy named Wee Meng Chee, or better known as Namawee with his popular hit: Negarakuku. If he uploaded the copy (best if he upload the copy of the copy lar) of the original MTV on to YouTube, then obviously there isn't any case to rant about, right? Hooray, I am starting to adopt the mentality of Bolehland!

This is utterly absurd and pathetic, citizens of Bolehland, our nation is becoming an international laughing stock. 

Read more here:

• The Judiciary Issue - Pinkpau
• Lim Kit Siang for Malaysia
• Judiciary at stake: Explosive 8 minutes, 2002 - Jeffooi

Once, there was this busty female prefect which lectured us during the school assembly because a few of us were prattling like turkeys. After some warnings and threatening to send us to the discipline teacher for caning if we continued our nonsense, she walked off.

Me: Walao, that tigress is shorter than us yet so fierce!

Friend: Erm, if both of you lay down, she would be "taller" than you.

Me: ...... (@$%#^&*)