Yes! After so many years, finally our majestic North-South Expressway is extended with the 3rd lane.

I am as excited as any other Malaysians, really...but wait, it may not be as safe as it seems to be according to this BMW 5 Series contractor.

So guys, try to be careful on the road ya.

Heard it's a 50/50 between MCA and DAP as of 10pm in Mengkibol...Come on...UNOFFICIALLY, DAP won! (11.19pm) It's either someone out there don't want to admit defeat or they are too slow to react. DAP won in Mengkibol. (1.51am)

The CEO of Semi-Value Inc is officially going to retreat to his ranch in Australia...10.05pm. Happy 72nd Birthday:)

Awaiting for his fate as well...10.20pm. Little Ong is quite lucky this time...10.39pm

Nurul Izzah Anwar won against Shahriezat...10.26pm. (WTF, 14 uncounted ballot boxes emerged out of nowhere. (12.00am) 

What about the AP Queen? She is lucky too.

UNOFFICIALLY, Koh Tsu Koon is out as of 8.27pm. Confirmed 11.34pm.

UNOFFICIALLY, Skudai has fallen to DAP, Dr Boo. 11.26pm. Confirmed 11.34pm.

A BIG BREACH IN BN's STRONGHOLD in JOHOR.

I am glad I participated in the GE this round, and make a difference.

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Stay cool, stay calm, stay home. Young bloods, don't let this go to waste. Let no one has the reason to declare emergency. Peace.

I was watching closely on the polling results at half past eight...

And I captured this speech from the IGP on the electronic media:

Minutes later the same channel reported 2 cases of phantom voters exposed by the public...

It's like the IGP is telling the whole universe:

To my ears...it's merely like:

My dear BLACKie...I hope you would heed my advice:

The GE phenomenons:

• Representatives that we do not recognize or know of his/her existence pop up like mushrooms after the rain, like the corridors launched by Pak Lah. *lol.

Do you know Chua Tee Yong? The son of the ex-Health Minister who demonstrated his super karmasutra skills in front of the entire nation. I wouldn't know this fella if not for his folly dad.

• Out of nowhere, the multi-talented to-be leaders will be walking along with normal Bolehland commoners, shaking hands, hugging, and patting people's shoulders in wet markets, pasar malams, hawker centers...etc.

• Some of them would even show off their hidden talents in making teh tarik, roti canai and frying char koay teow.

Khir selling mee after the Broomy award.

• Vulgar and lewd jokes came to a halt. To reminisce a few darndest quotes by our politicians: Batu Gajah setiap bulan pun BOCOR! Boleh nampak TEROWONG.

• Mat rempits helping out with the campaigns.

• Voters name missing from the system after participating in the GE for nth times. *Sigh.

• Sudden change of polling points. *Baffled.

Poor Mr Goh (69-year-old) has to travel all the way to Penang alone to vote despite the fact that he has been voting in Negeri Sembilan for all his life.

~~*~~

Despite the fast and smooth polling process this morning, I was wondering why the EC needs to station 6 buggers in a polling station (not to mention several polices guarding outside.)

One guy will check the IC and read the voters name aloud, the ticket ripper will tear the voting tickets and the person beside will help to fold the tickets (like we don't know how lar.) Then, there is this young pretty lady sitting in the middle staring blankly at the transparent poll boxes while the ketua behind is ogling her. 

The Bolehland authorities really know how to generate job opportunities for the some Bolehlanders...Like the toll booths on the highway which supposingly should be eliminated for smooth traffic flow long long time ago (maybe even before Singapore has its ERP gantries) are still standing in the way JUST to cater job vacancies...(Don't even want to mention Touch n Go or SmartTAG.)

In the end, the progress of Bolehland's development is just like the traffic condition on the highway: jalan kejap, henti kejap, jalan, henti, jalan, bang! henti, bang...so on so forth. So sad.

There's a lot of hurly-burly going on lately...which kinda pissed me off...

Every morning when I flipped through the newspaper, I am greeted with all sorts of blood-puking tidings in our beloved Bolehland...

To name one of them:

VK Lingam's Video Clip  

A video clip released by Former Deputy Prime Minister, Anwar Ibrahim on Sept 19, 2007 rocked the Judiciary and the Putrajaya Administration. The 8-minute video clip, taken secretly in 2002, showed Senior Lawyer VK Lingam in conversation with (whom believed to be) Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim, where Lingam allegedly conspired the potential appointment of Ahmad Fairuz as the Chief Judge of Malaya (CJM) and his promotion as the Chief Justice (CJ).

You can read the transcript of the conversation here. Note that names were mentioned. So, easily, there is someone/something to start with in the probe of this scandal, right? No! No! No! In Bolehland, we do it "one step at a time", there is a process to follow.

“It’d be unfortunate if the mechanism (panel) set up is not used by the people." said Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz, minister in the Prime Minister’s Department.

Meaning if conventionally the procedure is from A to B to C and then to D, there is no way you can jump from A to D even if there is a way! So, don't be a snobbish smart alec. So what is A, the wise one?

The government's reaction really amused me. Instead of commencing the investigation towards the parties involved, a three-man panel is called upon since Sept 27 to investigate the authenticity of the video tape as the copy presented by PKR (Parti Keadilan Rakyat) de facto leader has been edited. To accomplish this simple task, the whistleblower would need to step forward with the original copy of the clip.

What the toot, if you get shot by an arrow, would you attend to your wound first or ask where the arrow is coming from? In Bolehland, we will first examine if the arrow is made of carbon fibre or oakwood or alloy. Then, check if the fletching is made from chicken or goose feather or solid plastic vanes. Oh, sorry, you got shot? Screw you! I can't apply first aid on you yet, still need to find out what kind of bow has been used to fire this dart...erm long bow? short bow? compound bow? cross bow? elbow?  

“I really hope people will come forward. Then we can have a look at the judiciary. Otherwise, we may conclude there is no case,” commented Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz.

Apparently, the edited video footage is not solid enough to build a case. So now, without A, there is no D liao.   

Suddenly I think of this pathetic guy named Wee Meng Chee, or better known as Namawee with his popular hit: Negarakuku. If he uploaded the copy (best if he upload the copy of the copy lar) of the original MTV on to YouTube, then obviously there isn't any case to rant about, right? Hooray, I am starting to adopt the mentality of Bolehland!

This is utterly absurd and pathetic, citizens of Bolehland, our nation is becoming an international laughing stock. 

Read more here:

• The Judiciary Issue - Pinkpau
• Lim Kit Siang for Malaysia
• Judiciary at stake: Explosive 8 minutes, 2002 - Jeffooi

In case you are wondering who's the Despe’rite Housewife I am talking about, she's the kind lady who has penned down a few words in my recent entry under Malaysiana.  

It was really a big surprise for me as she's non other that the famous local writer - Lydia Teh  

Her 3rd book, "Honk! If You're Malaysian" has surpassed the 10,000 mark in less than 10 months! Cheers, Lydia! To celebrate this milestone, the 10K Contest is created for all readers and bloggers as a Big Thank You Note:) Let's rejoice in this event!

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Prize

1st - RM100 voucher

2nd - RM50 voucher

3rd - RM30 voucher

* MPH book vouchers or MacDonald’s food vouchers. Your choice.

How

Just write your name in the comment box here and you will get a shot in winning.

If you have a blog, just write an entry about 10K Contest in your blog and post the link in the comment box and you will get to double your chances in winning. Please indicate if you have done so.

Who

Anyone can take part but the winner must provide a Malaysian address for the prize to be mailed to.

Closing date : Friday, 20 October 2007

For more details, please visit http://lydiateh.wordpress.com/2007/09/28/10k-contest/

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Easy huh? Good luck everyone!

Malaysians are not spend thrift!

Like average Malaysians, I am no squanderer either. If not for the RM700 tax waive for the purchase of books and magazines, I would be better off using those moolah to pay for the most expensive Health Screening package (RM500) plus RM200 worth of treadmill ECG to measure the damage my job has caused me. (Okay, I am aware that I get RM500 of tax waive for full medical checkup.) Or, to pay for a treatment so that the silver linings on my scalp would somehow diminish if not vanish. 

Ok, after my purchase of books like Mind Mapping by Tony Buzan, Six Thinking Hats and Lateral Thinking: A Textbook of Creativity by Edward de Bono, some Dale Carnegie's masterpieces, two of Steven R. Covey's collection, some outdated Reader's Digest issues, and two epics by Dan Brown, I have pretty much depleted my RM500 worth of cash vouchers. Not forgetting to pick a couple of motivational literatures like Why We Want You To Be Rich, The Trillionaire Next Door, How Not to Crash and Burn in Stock Markets and The Untold Million Dollar Secrets of..., I have long exceeded the tax waive limit for this financial year and now what?   

I can't live without reading.

Thanks to places like Borders, Popular, MPH and Kinokuniya, in my heart, they are like the city libraries where the wormy community like me can nourish our knowledge hungry brain. We can spend hours chomping and chewing books after books, lines to lines and at the same time gloating at the money we have saved by not buying the books. But before you maximize your intangible profit, remember, you need to strategize first. *wink

First thing to do before you start, is to head straight to the Self Improvement section and search for a book with the title spelt out something like this: Speed Reading for Cheapos Who Don't Buy Books or How to Read 10 Lines in a Glance or Snap Shot Memory in Reading. Trust me, although you will take hours to devour the entire book, but the techniques from these books will definitely speed up your reading subsequently. Imagine how many ringgits you will be able to save later on?

Like the other day when I was in a local bookstore, I practically read an entire book from cover to cover regarding arowana spawning and breeding within 15 minutes! Okay, I admit life is rather pathetic when you are engrossed in books about fish porn fish in a pond. But guess what, the book costs RM24.90. *$Ka ching$ I just deposited RM24.90 in my virtual bank. *big grin

If I keep going on this way, I will be a millionaire in no time and I will definitely write a book to share my success story. Erm, the title of my book would be: How I Become a Millionaire By Reading! Pretty inspiring, huh? 

Okay, enough about the loony ranting. Let's be serious, we can't build our wealth out of other people's bankruptcy, agree? So please do remember to buy some books and read already. The two-books-per-year figure per the recent reading survey on Malaysians are devastating our literature industries and without enough capital to stay afloat, we will have no free books to read in no time. *frown

Now, if you would please excuse me, I would like to add another chapter in my book. Thank you.

ps: I came across this book authored by Lydia Teh, Honk! If You're Malaysian and sped read it for couple of chapters while CM underwent her facial treatment. Initially, I thought of returning for a few rounds to finish the book instead of buying it. But I got hooked up by the authenticity of her way in expressing the absurdities of Malaysian life. Darn, she is good and I willingly paid RM29.00 for the book. Okay, I am no model exemplar, but there are really good books out there. Adios!

Disclaimer:

1) Do not bring pen and notebooks to jot down whatever you read. This is stealing! Again, please visit the Self Improvement section and read books like How to Improve Your Memory, 8 Steps to Powerful Memory, NLP to Enhance Brain Power.

2) Do not bring camera or those mini photocopy machines into any bookstores. (used by credit card sign up booth to photocopy ICs.) You may be accused of piracy! However, keying it into your PDA phone or SMS text editor is much less apparent.

3) Do not reap open the plastic cover of any book just because you would like to read it. This is a disrespectful act. Simply, allow others to open it for you.

4) Be good, buy books!